We trained a pair of chimpanzees to watch weather channel television and to activate a switch each time the set volume changed significantly, for which they would receive a peanut as a reward. We compared 3 years of peanut dispensing to second-by-second television programming logs and weather patterns, finding an amazingly high correlation (at the .9 degree level) between the onset of commercial pods the dispensing of peanuts and hurricanes, even when one of the chimps managed to lodge peanuts in each ear.

Even worse, the experience caused a classic log-linear lagged response, the data revealing the dreaded Stochastic Simian Syndrome, augmented by earwax and cold weather in January. Our exclusive Darwinian/Global Warming Projection Model suggests that, had Rep. Eschoo chewed a peanut she would have won the support of FCC chairman and Al Gore, apparently genetically related and sympathetic to the peanut-impaired chimp.

The final result proved peanut brain Al Gore had won the election which was stolen from him in the year 2000, and global warming does exist.

I am a tech tinkerer and I have a Linux Based homebrew dvr from

http://www.mythtv.org/

One of the plugins is the commercial zapper. How it works is by detecting sudden diiferences in audio loudness. For a toy it works pretty well and gets about 99% of the commercials, so far it has never had a false detection. This law will make my commercial zapper obsolete.

Maybe there should be legislation that prevents people from submitting stupid legislation. A panel of citizens could review it, and if it’s really stupid they each get to slap the person who submitted it.

* Outlaw disease (anyone infected with anything is jailed)
* Make liver taste better
* Require the producers of Lost to reveal how the series ends.

– Pauley