California Democratic Representative Anna Eshoo has introduced legislation to regulate the loudness of TV commercials. The bill, which I promise you is real, is called the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act, or CALM. Read more about it here.
This is the kind of thing where you expect Ashton Kutcher to run onto the house floor in his mesh trucker hat, jumping around and wildly hugging all of the representatives who have been sitting there with their mouths agape since Eshoo introduced this bill and declaring into the CSPAN cameras that we have all been Punk’d. However, that would be too much like reality; this is the United States House of Representatives. I would delve into the ridulousness of this legislation, like the practical impossibility of regulating something like this or the possibility of maybe spending congressional energy on real issues, but it all kind of makes me feel like I’m arguing with my two-year-old.
Next up from Eshoo, watch for bills that will:
- Make pickle jars easier to open
- Keep shoelaces from fraying
- Stop your shower from instantly getting extremely hot or cold when you barely touch the controls
- Make it a misdemeanor to leave the toilet seat up
Go ahead and leave some comments with more ideas to legislate away all of the minor annoyances in American life. I bet yours won’t be as ridiculous as the real thing.